TikTok Star-Turned-Musician Bella Poarch on the Impossibility of Beauty Standards and the Value of Therapy - Vogue

As someone with a huge audience, you’re presumably under pressure to consistently “look your best.” How do you balance the expectations of looking a certain way with being comfortable in what you wear and how you feel?

Sometimes I catch myself comparing myself to others, but then I take a step back and remind myself that being yourself is the best thing. While I do try to look my best on TikTok, one of the things I've learned to get comfortable with is embracing my flaws.

I went through this really weird phase where I would be uncomfortable taking pictures with fans when I didn’t have my makeup ready and I would later see those pictures online. But then I realized that I’m supposed to look like that. That’s how I look and there’s nothing wrong with that. Take the filters away and I’m still happy being me.

You joined the U.S. Navy in 2015. Given what you’ve done for your country, it must be particularly hard to see the recent rise in violence against AAPI people.

My time in the military doesn’t affect my view on what’s going on in the country within the AAPI community. I think what’s happening [with anti-Asian-American violence] in our country is terrible and there are flaws in everything. But I’ll tell you one thing: if I ever see someone getting attacked, I will use everything I ever learned in the military to dismantle them.

Can you describe your decision to join the Navy?

I wanted to be free. I wanted to be independent. As weird as it sounds, the Navy allowed me to feel that way.

You recently spoke to  British Vogue about the trauma that racism has had on you as an Asian person. How do you look after yourself and protect your mental health?

I talk to a therapist frequently. I highly recommend it for everyone to protect their mental wellness. It has done things for me that you can’t put a price tag on.

In the weeks since that article appeared, do you feel like there have been any positive advancements for AAPI people?

I don’t know if you saw what happened in Baltimore recently, but that really hurt me to see. It was only a few days ago and so we still have a long way to go. I have seen some incredible organizations such as Gold House doing amazing things in the community. I hope to work together with organizations such as those to push for positive advancements for AAPI people.

What do you miss most about the Philippines?

The food, the culture, the people… everything.

If you could tell your 16-year-old self something, what would you say?

There are so many things I would want to say. Never give up, and even if you’re feeling like you want to give up, I believe in you. Also, don’t forget to brush your teeth, no matter how depressed you are.

This is your first single, but you are already clearly accomplished. What are your ambitions as a musician?

I want to make more music. I want to go on tour. And I can’t wait to go back to the Philippines. Mahal na mahal ko ang Pilipinas. [I really love the Philippines].

“Build a Bitch” is out now.

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2021-05-14 09:00:00Z

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